When Goals Don't Help You
If you hadn't heard already, my daughter competed at Crufts for the first time in Agility last weekend. (That thing where the dog races around jumps and tunnels and see-saws generally having a fabulous time!) It's a pretty big deal in the dog agility world to run your dog on "The Green Carpet"
Of course I'm sure she secretly hoped to win and gain access to the main arena in the afternoon.
But we didn't set a goal. Not THAT goal anyway.
That is what we call a "Performance Goal"
They CAN be useful, they can provide short term motivation and measure your progress. Riders usually set this type of goal."To get a clear round at 70cm" For example or “To achieve 70% in a pre-lim dressage test by august”
However, used in isolation setting a "Performance goal" such as "To win at Crufts" can be unhelpful for many reasons.
That is what we call a "Performance Goal"
They CAN be useful, they can provide short term motivation and measure your progress. Riders usually set this type of goal."To get a clear round at 70cm" For example or “To achieve 70% in a pre-lim dressage test by august”
However, used in isolation setting a "Performance goal" such as "To win at Crufts" can be unhelpful for many reasons.
1. It's not within her control she can't control how others perform and so even her best run and time could be beaten by someone else.
2. It's a goal that you either succeed at or you fail at. There is no in-between. If you "Fail" at performance goals regularly this can chip away at your confidence and leave you feeling like your not good enough. Read here for How to fail well!
3. Failure to celebrate progress. All the emphasis would be on winning, if that didn't happen she may forget how far she's come to get here and celebrate that amazingness.
4. It's short-lived If she HAD won (and achieved that goal) the feeling would have been AMAZING - but short lived. It's done, complete. Now what? This surprisingly can also lead to de-motivation. (Bit like post wedding blues) as you sit with the "What next" to get that dopamine hit again.
5. Inflexibility - Life circumstances change, curve balls get lobbed. These rigid goals don't allow for life to happen. Having a rigid black and white goal can lead to disappointment when things get in the way of that dopamine shot you are chasing.
Here's what to do instead…
Work with a combination of Performance Goals AND Mastery Goals.
Mastery goals are about long term learning, understanding and growth. For example "To be the best partner I can be to my horse" or "To build a relationship based on trust" (I know, sounds kind of woolley and not remotely SMART)
Your performance goals can help take you on the journey to Mastery. They are like measures along the way.
However, with a Mastery goal in mind you either succeed at your performance goal or you learn from it. There is no failure. "I Succeed or I Learn something to help with my journey to Mastery"
So to take this back to Crufts. Her Mastery goal is to be the best dog handler she can be for her dog.
Her performance goals for Crufts therefore could be " To clearly communicate to my dog through my body language and voice" (with some detail behind that which I won't bore you with!)
Now as it happened , her dog jumped an incorrect fence. If the goal had been to "Win at Crufts" she had just secured an almighty FAIL of the first order. It could have knocked her confidence or sent her into the "I'm rubbish, not good enough, blah blah zone...."
However, with her goal of being the best handler she could be for her dog, alongside a performance goal that was within her control, when she left the ring following an 'elimination,' rather than the big fail feeling, she looked at how she had miscommunicated to her dog? What could she learn from that and what will she do differently next time to be clearer?
Of course there was a little disappointment/frustration at self, but it was processed super fast and then into the learning zone she went. She was actually one step closer to being a better handler following that run at Crufts. It was NOT a fail.
So, ask yourself. What is YOUR Mastery Goal? What does that look like? Who do admire and aspire to emulate?
By all means set some clear performance goals to keep up the short term motivation and to have some measures in place as to how you are doing. Any performance goals you do then set, use the outcome (regardless of what it is) to learn from and not just either a quick dopamine fix (though who doesn't love a bit of that?!) or another reason to beat yourself up for not being good enough.
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